Why do parents neglect the fact that children can suffer from depression? Depression is a serious health issue and there are lots of discussion topics about it these days. There is awareness spreading regarding depression and anxiety that it should be taken seriously otherwise it can lead someone to suicide or a mental asylum.
However, for many parents, everything seems to be normal and they think there is nothing wrong with their children’s lives. Parents cannot dare to think that which things can cause depression in their children. Parents take care of other health issues but what is going on inside in the head of their children, they are unaware of this.
1: Parents should consider the following points as serious problems that cause depression in children and try to eradicate them:
1: Do not argue in front of children:
Depression in children can start at an early age. When the children are of about 3 years old, they start noticing the behaviour of their parents. Even if parents think that everything is normal, and they are arguing over anything in front of children. It starts affecting them. It can later lead to depression in children and many starts thinking that it is because of their existence that everything is wrong. When a child can notice your affection, he can also sense your anger and hate.
2: Do not directly tell your children that you cannot afford something:
Growing up, children start noticing that they cannot afford many things that their age-fellows, friends or class fellows have. Parents never try to make their children understand in a better way that it is not a big deal if they do have not the same things, instead of the fact they make them clear they cannot afford it. It only causes inferiority complex or jealousy towards others and later develops depression in children.
3: Good marks are not important than your children’s mental health:
This is a thing that is ruining children’s mental health in our society. I am unable to understand why “A” grades are more important than a child’s mental health. Parents should understand that their children may not have a good memory like others, or maybe they are not interested in a particular area. They should encourage their children if they are having poor grades. They should try to find out the reasons.
The focus is more on why you are not studying, we are paying so much for your school and tuition but you are not worthy of it. We are working day and night but you are not paying us back in the form of good grades.
If they are failing in some science subjects, maybe they are not born to do miracles in science. Parents should not feel shame to allow their children to read subjects other than science. “Every child is not born to be a scientist or a doctor. Maybe he/she is born to be an artist” After all, society will not take care of your children when they will mentally collapse.
4: Do not compare your children with others:
Comparing is another serious problem in our society. It starts with childhood and ends on the deathbed. It is one of the biggest reasons for depression in children. Children are compared with their siblings, cousins, with every person elder or younger of their age. It only leads towards jealousy or later hates in children that increase with age. Children start distancing themselves from everyone so that no one would ask questions to them about their grades.
Parents should also stop other people if they are asking about their children’s grades. Believe me, there is hardly anyone in this world, which is genuinely caring about your child’s wellbeing. Of Course, you cannot change people but you can make it clear to them that your child does not like it and you know better than they do.
5: Teach your child that every person is beautiful and they should not listen to others:
I admit, for parents, their children are the most beautiful creature. Still, they should teach their child from start, that black is also beautiful as white, short thin hairs are also beautiful like shiny black long black hair. They should immediately shut down any person even if they are their relatives to pass a remark on their children’s physical appearance.
No one on this earth should be more important to you than your children. They should teach their children to do physical activities from childhood. They should assure them that physical and mental health is more important. The parents’ focus should be more on “Do not listen to other people when they tell you that you are not beautiful”.
2: Some facts regarding Depression in children:
1: Children start sensing behaviors from their childhood. It is not necessary that someone is teaching them. Yes, they do what they see in their childhood, but after that, they start practising it. If some relative is not behaving well with their parents, growing up they can feel it. Soon they will have no interest to meet them.
2: Do not pressurize your children to go to your toxic relatives. You should be more conscious of their mental health, instead of it try to understand your children’s behavior.
3: Parents should know that closeness does not mean that If you are regularly in contact with your grown-up, and they are happily talking to you, it does not mean everything is alright. It means they are not telling you for two reasons, either they know it will be of no use or they do not want to disturb you.
4: If your child is suffering from some disease, he is also in depression because of that. If your grown-up child is failed in some class or subject, he is also in depression and ashamed. If they think that they are not as beautiful as pr the society standard, they also suffer. Try to learn about your children’s sufferings.
3: Problem with Pakistani Society regarding marriage and having children:
- One of the main problems that I found in Pakistani society regarding parenting is that after some days of marriage, a woman has to be pregnant to prove her fertility.
- After marriage, a married couple is in a hurry, whether the man is earning or not, whether they both are in proper mental maturity to take care of their child or not.
- The grandparents are more excited and push the couple to have a child as early as possible. It does not stop on one child; it has to be one child every year.
- Hardly anyone thinks about the health of the woman and gives the example of the old generation that how they used to produce one child every year and still they were fit and used to do all house chores.
- People believe that its God’s responsibility to provide food for every newborn. No doubt but God has also given us a mind to think. If this is so, then we should sit and do nothing. In this era of inflation, it has become very difficult to handle the school fee of one child, nobody even thinks about it before marriage or before having kids.
- There is always a threat to a woman that if she will not produce a child right after the marriage, her husband will divorce her. She will be tagged as an infertile woman. All society will talk about rubbish about her. Having a child is more of the husband’s choice or of a grandparent’s choice rather than the woman herself.
I am summing the article with these points to eradicate depression in children:
1: Get married when you think you are now capable of handling a wife/husband’s responsibility.
2: Have a child, when you think now you can handle the little one. You can take care of your child not physically but also mentally. You can handle the pressure of being a father or mother.
3: Plan a second or third child, when you think you can give them a proper life. You can give them proper attention and care. A child needs the attention of both father and mother. It is not only the responsibility of the mother to take care of the child alone but a father should take part in it too.
4: Do not hear your siblings, your parents or your relatives in the case of your own child. Think yourself, plan yourself, decide yourself about your child. You should know your child better than them.
5: If a man cannot handle the cries and failure of his child then he should think twice before having a child instead of later blaming everything on his wife.
6: If you have no courage to take a stand for your child’s happiness, then kindly do not think of bringing her/him into this world to suffer.
Because all these can cause depression in children and it can ruin their lives at any point.