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Dribbling Thoughts

Increasing knowledge and expressing thoughts

Depression: How to Stand by your loved ones Who are Precious?

ByNaz khaliq

Jan 6, 2023
depression and thoughts
To show the condition of depression

Depression is one of the most dangerous and miserable diseases. It can definitely be called a disease because it destroys not only mental but physical health too. The person no longer wants to meet anyone or to see the world outside.

The pathetic thing is its signs are not visible enough, even if someone is smiling, and laughing he/she would be dying inside. Here I am not going to talk about its scientific or medical terms, causes, and solutions. This is simple to understand.

Depression in Children:

When someone says in childhood, I am worried, not feeling well mentally, devastated or in tension, everyone around them gives a good laugh and says how can you suffer from all this, you are still a child and you have nothing to worry about. Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not the case.

When a child enters a school, he has to leave his older way of playing, sleeping all day. It turns out good for some children and some find it hard as every person has a different nature. Some find it difficult to adjust to a new atmosphere and this continues until their old age. The pressure of getting a prominent position starts hitting his head and well it continues until he completes his studies.

Can depression occur in school-going children?

Well, maybe it cannot be term as depression. But I can say for sure, they start feeling it in their primary classes, the pressure of getting good marks, the failure of shame, they feel rejection too because someone is not ready to play with them. It’s the cruelty of nature that starts hitting them hard from their innocent age.

There is another fact that no one knows specifically in our society what he/she wants to do. We start studying already established and well-known subjects. No one care about our interest.

In fact, we also do not know what actually we want to study. Even if someone knows, the parents do not agree because those subjects are not going to give us a good earning profession. So the failure in exams starts causing depression and it gets severe day after day.

Sexual exploitation at an early age, whether with consent or without consent shock them and they feel embarrassed, ashamed and depressed all their life. Consent does not matter, because even if someone is alluring tp them and they agree, they have no idea what is going on. It means no one is forcing them but they are playing with their innocent minds. They cannot tell anyone because they are ashamed and it remains the same throughout their life. Force sexual abuse has an extreme level of damage, that no one can imagine.

I guess, instead of saying that you are a failed person from an early age; parents should motivate their children because society is already there to demotivate us and give us enough reason to hide our faces in shame.

I wish instead of saying you are good for nothing, they should say, It’s ok, failure is part of life. Instead of saying they do not know about tension or depression, they should observe their children. Believe me, your child is suffering.

Growing up, there are many things that increase depression, the attempt to fit into society’s set standards of beauty and not being successful in this. The attraction towards beauty and rejection based on colour and physique lowers self-esteem.

Everyone loves to be loved by some specific person, it’s the need for humans. We turn towards people outside of our families not because we are not getting enough love but because this love is of a different kind.

The thing is, parents should realize this and counsel their children before it’s too late, especially in the case of their daughters. It causes depression when we do not find the right person for us or we meet the wrong person. It hurts us deeply and causes depression.

Depression in women:

Depression in woman
pic credit: unsplash

The pressure to fit into society’s standards, to get married as soon as possible after completing education. I know the western system is somehow different from ours. Here the person’s family wants a girl with higher education with a high-grade job at a younger age, earlier before 25 at least. It seems ridiculous but it’s true.

In between all these, there are factors like, not finding the right direction, struggling to please everyone, struggling to make our parents proud, struggling to look good, and fear of getting older day by day as we will not get someone to get married or we will not be able to bore a child later. Fear of falling in love with someone and later being rejected by them. You think all of these cannot make a person depressed, if you think this way, then you are wrong. 

 There are some other reasons apart from the above mentioned. People who work hard and with honesty, their superiors start expecting everything from them. This not only increases their work burden but also people who do not want to work get more relaxation.  Their life is easier than those who work hard.

During studies, instead of doing so much hard work, you will only get good grades if you belong to some teacher’s acquaintances or you are buttering them unnecessarily. Some women get depressed when every time a man passes some comment or joke or even tries to be frank without any consent. Women understand you have a problem down there, but they are not interested.

Depression in Men:

Men in depression
pic credit : unsplash

Talking about the depression of men, in my opinion, get less depressed as compared to women. I am saying it again; I am not a blind feminist or nor I am generalizing their situation.

All I am saying is that boys in our society get more chances than girls do. I have seen many boys who at the last moment leave some university after paying a huge amount of fee, just because they do not want to study there.

Though it depends on the economic stability of their fathers still at least they can do it. They can change their subjects, they can leave their jobs because they do not feel it is right for them.

Here I am emphasizing again depression is different for different people. It’s the nature of everyone how they take a particular situation or whether they find that situation difficult or not.

Real depression starts occurring in men after their married life, they have to fulfil the needs of their family, they work hard even if they are working on small levels, and they do everything possible for their children.

I admit by looking at their children’s failure they get upset and depressed. The pressure of earning is the biggest factor of depression for a man. Both children and parents should listen to each other’s problems to save each other from mentally collapsing because society is already there to degrade and humiliate and it makes us feel low.

Also Read: https://dribblingthoughts.com/social-issues/depression-in-children/

Suicide attempt is the one and last thing that a person who is done with everything. I know Suicide is not the solution to any problem, in fact it is forbidden in Islam. I guess instead of emphasizing that it is forbidden, cannot someone look after that person?

First, you are making someone’s life hell, by mocking, insulting, and ridiculing them, and then u expect them to behave normally and continue with their miseries.

I am not in favor of this, not because it is forbidden in my religion but because it only makes your family and specifically your parents miserable whole their life. My point is, try to find out the cause of suicide, you will know they do this because of societal pressure.

It can be the pressure of anything, studying, earning, being rejected by someone or forced to marry a person you do not want to or your family is not giving you permission to marry a specific person. Who makes a society? The friends, the relatives, and the people around us. Cannot be we less cruel towards someone’s failure in terms of everything they are going through? Are our ego, pride and success most important than someone’s life?

Many students take their lives, some fail in exams, some fail in their relationships, some are betrayed by their loved ones, and some lose their property. It’s not like everyone who is in depression attempts this. Some are mentally strong, they keep suffering and tolerating, it’s not like they are not in pain but they care more about their parents than their own sufferings.

How can we save our loved ones:

My brain provides a solution, it is necessary to put in your children’s minds from the start that failure is nothing that can damage your self-esteem. You are someone who will decide how to live in society according to your will. Society is not going to decide your fate.

Do not be afraid to lose, whatever will happen, we are standing with you. Losing your friends is not big deal, you will get new ones gradually. Keep an eye on your children, beware them of sexual exploitation and if someone has gone through this, listen to them. Focus on the present, leave the past and not worry about the future.

Your body is perfect, do not judge yourself, society is already there to judge you. You should know your health is more important than your looks. Try to be content with what you are earning. If someone has betrayed you in love, it’s not your fault.

I know it’s not easy to move on when you love someone more than yourself, it all talks nothing else but I am sure you will get happiness and the love of your life.  Stand by your friends and family, cherish them and preserve them, they are precious. Try to make everyone’s life easy, do not deceive them for your temporary gain. Every human life is precious, respect them as you want to be respected.

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