Home Wrecker is the term that people use for a second woman. The term often emerges every time after the disclosure of some extramarital affair or some cheating incident happens. We are using the phrase, second woman, because it is in the fate of a woman to get all the blame no matter what happens. Before debating further, let discuss what is a Home Wrecker and how people love to associate it with the woman alone.
People must have known about the term Home Wrecker is a person who destroys someone marriage or a relationship but as usual, what people do not know about or do not want to talk about is who is a Home Wrecker in a marriage.
Home Wrecker is a term that people love to associate with the second woman. The whole society including the first wife of the man tags the second woman as the home wrecker, whore, slut, gold digger and what not. The people blame the second woman that she is characterless and this is the reason she kept an eye on a married man. The funny thing is even if its the woman who cheats, the blame is again on women for cheating and not the other man who is also equally involved in this cheating. This double standard for women is not new.
It is weird that the answer to the questions of who broke your marriage? and Who wrecked your home? are the other woman. No, dear, it’s your husband who did this, it’s better that you come out of your bubble and accept it.
Men are equally or more involved in every crime, but the blame is only on women:
Just like in all other incidents rape, assaults, sexual abuse, harassment where women are called with bad names and people put all blame on her physical appearance to her dressing. In this case, it is the same, it is the only woman who is destroyed at the end with lots of humiliation. What about a man who is equally involved in every matter?
People behave and pass remarks like she was the only one who was involved in this relationship. People love to call her with bad names including the woman because they are afraid their husbands can go in the same route.
Women know that they cannot handle their husbands, so in order to create a sense of fear, this type of humiliation is associated with a woman. Women threaten the other women to stay away from their husbands otherwise they will treat them the same as Usman’s wife did with the Pakistani actress Uzma Khan.
The hypocrisy of the society or an attempt to threaten the woman to make them stay away from your husbands?
This latest famous controversy raises many questions but it also highlights the hypocrisy of our Pakistani society. In women case, this is not only the issue of Pakistani society, but the history of injustice towards women from women is also old and worldwide.
Firstly a woman knows that she cannot control her husband and it does not matter whether she is the most beautiful woman in the world or richest one, if her husband does not love her anymore, he will find another one.
A woman knows it is hard for her to question her husband about his infidelity and neither she can get the same love after arguing with him and beating or threatening him is just a daydream. It is true that if you belong to a rich family just like the women of Malik Riaz family who is a famous and probably the richest business tycoon, you would be able to put a collar to your husband neck, but it is not long-lasting. If he has decided to cheat on you, he will do it anyway.
The people who are saying that oh liberals are supporting Uzma Khan who has committed the sin of adultery and was sleeping with a married man so she deserves punishment but no one is cursing the man who has an equal share. As usual, women are slandering her and also those who have put forth a logic.
These are those people who are unable to understand the difference between two things. Cheating is someone personal matter and breaking into someone house, sexually assault her and threaten her to death is not. These are especially those women who are afraid that if they will not defame Uzma Khan, maybe their husband will do the same. But how beating a second woman whom your husband sleeping with, will save your marriage that is already broken with his cheating?
The person who was cheating on you from years and does not care about you or your children, you are ready to accept him back. But the woman who has no relation with you, you are beating, abusing and threatening her to save your dignity that your husband has already tarnished by sleeping with other women.
Before you judge me here, let me clear I am not blaming a woman or saying that it is her fault that her husband is cheating on her with another woman. I am questioning her why she could not beat his husband and made a video so that it would be a lesson to other cheater husbands?
Let me also clear people who are supporting Uzma Khan are not supporting her to have an illicit relationship with a married man. Although no one has proof of that, no pictures until now and neither a video as there are proof and video of Usman’s wife giving death threats to Uzma.
There are sane minds who are thinking logically instead of emotionally that if this is justified than every act of violence including the act of honour killing can be justified.
The people are saying this is what a respectable woman does. Really? A woman who is dignified and strong will never go to beat the girlfriend of her husband to lower her standard. She will leave her husband in a dignified way and she will face her husband instead. A woman who has the brain to think knows that a man, if he is used to cheating, will go after one woman and then another. How many girlfriends of your husband will you beat?
Never trust a man who just give you fake promises and not a respectable place in society:
Where it is a reality that no one should involve with a married man, it is not because he is already taken, it is because he does not have the courage to accept you in front of society and when society will question him about his relation, he will run away and will leave you to face the society wrath alone just like Usman did in this case.
So it is better to save your dignity than to involve with a man who is hiding his relations not just a married one but same goes for an unmarried one too. If a man is serious about you, he will save your dignity and try his best to give you a proper and respectable place in society.
Anyways in this whole matter, the things that are most pathetic are, hardly anyone knows what Usman looks like. It seems like the war is between his girlfriend and his wife and he is nowhere and neither a large number of people are questioning him or tarnishing his image or character who is the real home wrecker.
A married man or woman who cheats is a real home wrecker instead of the third person. If your husband or wife does not care about you, why would a stranger care about it? It is just to satisfy the ego or an effort to save the remaining grace.
Taking the Law in hands, justify the act and people support on it, is alarming:
The alarming thing is, tomorrow anyone because of a personal grudge goes to someone’s house, breaks their belongings, throw acid or burns them and will say they did it because of honour. If it is so then there is no need to have police or justice system. If you cannot solve the problem of your house and keep your matter private, then you should go to the police.
The people who are justifying this act of Usman wife are the same who support Honour killing, fake killing in the name of blasphemy, sexual assaults by putting all blame on woman attire.
The people who are saying that those who are supporting Uzma Khan would be like her or the same old chant of Pakistani nation that if your husband will do it, what would you do.
So they think that this is the only case where a husband cheated on a wife? There would be thousands of other cases, but it does not get highlighted because of various reasons.
If the relationship is between two people and culprits are two persons, then both deserve equal punishments and blames. But like always, it is easy to put all blame on a woman and man is free again.
Future of Uzma Khan Case:
The future of this case will be the same as hundreds of others, where influential people finally find a way to close the case and where the husbands are back with their wives. It will be the same as when the wife and daughter of a judge brutally killed a young maid and no one could give them punishment.
Where the wives who have no choice other than to accept her husband back and if not so, they cannot give the same punishment to their husbands as they give to the second woman. Where society will remember the name of Uzma Khan as a bad character woman but no one will talk about who is Usman or his wife.
A home is made by a man and a woman and it is wrecked by only those who cheat on each other, no third person can break it if your relationship is strong. Others are just empty slogans and attempts to save the influential names or to save the remaining grace.
No one is justifying adultery, extramarital affairs or cheating, people are demanding the equal wrath for the man too who is equally responsible, plus taking the law in hands is not justified in any way, otherwise, there is no use to make a state or law force.
People who are demanding the punishments according to Shariah Law, will they be able to handle if Pakistan will start punishing every act of adultery, affairs without wedlock and punishments for Alcholol? If it is so, I would dare to say half the population of Pakistan will be swiped away in this way.